SUPER TROOPERS 2

“Super Troopers 2” has been in the works since the original’s release in 2002, and one has to say that if this is all Broken Lizard (Jay Chandrasekhar, Kevin Heffernan, Steve Lemme, Paul Soter and Erik Stolhanske) has been able to come up with in sixteen years, they should probably close up shop pronto. The members of the troupe were already rather long in the tooth to be doing the sort of raucous, crude, stupid, unfunny stoned frat-boy stuff represented by the first picture more than a decade and a half ago; now they seem utterly desperate, and positively over-the-hill, repeating the routine.

The plot, if one can call it that, is as close to a carbon copy of the first flick as can be. After being dismissed as Vermont troopers after the catastrophic events of the original, the numbskull boys—Thorny (Chandrasekhar), Foster (Soter), Mac (Lemme), Favra (Heffernan) and Rabbit (Stolhanske)–are reduced to working construction. But they’re called back into service by the Vermont governor (Lynda Carter, reprising her embarrassing cameo) when it’s discovered that the state really juts into an area of Quebec previously deemed Canadian. So our dissipated bunch of losers are named to replace the local Mounties (Tyler Labine, Will Sasso and Hayes MacArthur) under the command of their old captain John O’Hagen, played again by a slumming Brian Cox. (One only hopes his paycheck was substantial.)

While being confronted by hostility from the locals, with the exception of the local mayor (Rob Lowe, affecting one of the many horrible French-Canadian accents strewn throughout) and an official trying to expedite the territorial turnover (Emmanuelle Chriqui), the troopers discover another smuggling operation, this one involving fake iPhones and drugs, and try to identify the culprits. Interspersed with this threadbare narrative is a succession of sketches involving Canadian stereotypes (“niceness” among them), a battle with a bear that invades the station, and jokes about differences between the U.S. and its northern neighbor (kilometers versus miles—what hilarity! permissive Canuck laws about prostitution and alcohol strength—how funny!)

Then there are the long-running gags, like Thorny’s addiction to female sex-enhancement pills or Rooster’s romance with Chriqui. Juvenile drug humor is bountiful (a dream sequence at the start, featuring Sean William Scott and Damon Wayans Jr. as a couple of dumb-as-rock cops, combines that with slapstick violence of a remarkably unpleasant sort), as is naughty comedy focusing on balls and penises (one drearily repeated joke stresses putting “caulk” in a hole, and the number of crotch punches and kicks is beyond counting).

All the members of the Lizard team are intensely irritating, but Heffernan surely takes the cake as the endlessly obnoxious, vulgar loudmouth Favra. It’s incredible that a character who’s insufferable at the start should become more and more so as the movie drags on, but Heffernan manages that apparently impossible feat. Lots of people in these slob comedies are grating, but Favra takes top dishonors in the constellation of such disreputable creatures. Of the other cast members, Lowe comes off worst simply because he has the most screen time, but nobody fares well, though Marisa Coughlan, as a pretty U.S. motocycle cop, and Fred Savage, showing up in a closing credits clip after being referred to throughout, come closest.

As one might expect, “Troopers 2” is technically mediocre, with Chandrasekhar’s lackadaisical direction matched by similar work from the rest of the crew. Of course the ratty look of the picture is supposed to be part of its crummy charm, but in reality it’s just ugly.

The original “Super Troopers,” wretched as it was, became a sort of cult favorite among some in its video afterlife. They will probably enjoy this reunion with the goofball quintet, especially if fortified by their sense-affecting substance of choice. For anyone else, this lower-than-lowbrow mess—which takes a place somewhere between Jerry Lewis at his worst and the Three Stooges at their oldest (when you feared that every pratfall might be fatal), laced with a heavy dose of Cheech and Chong—will be a very painful experience.