Producers: Deborah Snyder, Eric Newman, Zack Snyder and Wesley Coller   Director: Zack Snyder Screenplay: Zack Snyder, Kurt Johnstad and Shay Hatten   Cast: Sofia Boutella, Djimon Hounsou, Ed Skrein, Michiel Huisman, Doona Bae, Anthony Hopkins, Staz Nair, Ray Fisher, Sky Yang, Fra Fee, Cleopatra Coleman, Stuart Martin, Ingvar Sigurdsson, Alfonso Herrara, Cary Elwes, Rhian Rees, Elise Duffy, Stella Grace Fitzgerald and Charlotte Maggi   Distributor: Netflix

Grade: D-

The initial installment in Zack Snyder’s latest Netflix would-be blockbuster was all build-up, a glorified prologue, in the form of a recruitment narrative, to what was promised to be the main event, a “Star Wars”-like smackdown between an evil empire and the band of ragtag rebels assembled in Part One.  Now comes that much-vaunted face-off, and the culmination of the outer-space “Magnificent Seven” that’s “Rebel Moon: Part Two – The Scargiver” proves an even drearier bore than its predecessor.

The movie falls into two distinct parts.  In the first, the warriors who survived an initial battle with the Motherworld’s forces headed by sneering Admiral Atticus Noble (Ed Skrein), commander of the Deathstar-inspired Dreadnought, return to the farming planet Veldt, whose crops Noble had been dispatched to seize and where the rebellion had birthed, in a celebratory mood.  They believe that Noble has been killed by Kora (Sofia Boutella), the sad-faced former imperial soldier heavy with guilt over an act that will eventually be revealed.  But the joyous atmosphere, complete with incongruously Celtic folk dancing by the locals, abruptly ends as Aris (Sky Yang), the Motherworld warrior left on Veldt who’s changed his allegiance and is revealing the orders he receives to the rebels, learns that Noble has been resuscitated and is headed back on the Dreadnought to finish his job: he’ll arrive in five days.

So imperial general turned rebel leader Titus (Djimon Hounsou) oversees the training of the locals for combat and urgent defensive preparations against imminent attack.  These sequences, patterned after (among others) those of the rigorous drills of the slave army of Spartacus for battle against the Romans, are extraordinarily repetitive and dull, since Snyder lacks the saving touch of humor Kubrick brought to his film. 

There are, however, unintentional laughs in a scene in which the rebels—Titus, impassive swordswoman Nemesis (Doona Bae), blacksmith and animal whisperer Tarak (Staz Nair), and warrior Darrian, rightly called Bloodaxe (Ray Fisher)—all explain the reasons behind their embrace of rebellion.  Kora declines to reveal the reason for her defection to the group, but will explain it to Gunnar (Michiel Huisman), the Veldt farmer with whom she’s become romantically involved.  Even in a picture marked by bad writing, this sequence stands out for its ludicrous banality.

When the Dreadnought arrives, the second half of the movie begins. Noble has identified Kora as Arthelais, a particularly sought-after enemy of imperial despot Belisarius (Fra Fee), and offers to spare the village if she surrenders to him.  Though she agrees, Gunnar takes it upon himself to initiate combat, and Snyder indulges in his propensity for protracted battle episodes between individual rebels and imperial forces, switching from one to another haphazardly and frequently resorting to his much-loved slow-motion for effect, not realizing that it makes the action less rather than more impactful.  Massive tank-like machines are introduced against defenders armed with simple weapons, and individuals die on both sides; the erstwhile imperial robot warrior called Jimmy (played by Dustin Ceithamer but voiced by Anthony Hopkins, who also serves as a narrator), which has been a recluse on Veldt for years, finally joins the fray on the side of the rebels even as Devra Bloodaxe (Cleopatra Coleman) arrives with reinforcements.

This formulaic drivel is presented in a way that highlights Snyder’s many deficiencies—his penchant for cardboard characters and stilted dialogue, the clumsy handling of actors that leaves them looking wooden and embarrassed, the gloomy cinematography (another of his contributions) that makes everything in the production design by Stephen Swain and Stefan Dechant look dank and murky, the maladroit effects, all served up in glacial pacing by editor Dody Diorn and accompanied by a blaring, ineffectual score from Tom Holkenborg. The result is a stunningly unexciting farrago of uninspired action and schmaltzy space melodrama, its team of tormented heroes set against a malevolent foe played like Snidely Whiplash, though Skrein unhappily lacks a moustache to twirl.

And as a final insult, Snyder adds a revelation concerning the beatific Princess Issa (Stella Grace Fitzgerald), whose attempt to put the empire on a path of peace had led to Belisarius’ coup against the ruling family, that indicates his intention to extend the juvenile story into a multi-part saga, a third-rate copy of George Lucas’ faraway galaxy, which itself is by now pretty threadbare.  That’s a truly dispiriting prospect.                      

The twin “Rebel Moon” disasters might raise the issue of whether they represent the worst of Zach Snyder’s movies.  It’s a tough question, because looking over his filmography, choosing the nadir is rather like trying to decide which of Dante’s circles of hell would be the most painful to spend eternity in.   And if he continues this series, more candidates will inevitably become available—a grim probability indeed.     

Producers: Andrew Pagana, Michael Chuney, Christos Kalabogias and Ryan David Jahn    Director: Geo Santini   Screenplay: Ryan David Jahn   Cast: Christos Kalabogias, Scotty Tovar, Geo Santini, Justin Taite, Brett Zimmerman, Douglas Smith, Annie Gonzalez, Andrew Pagana, Courtney Turk and Golan Edik   Distributor: Saban Films

Grade: D-

Geo Santini’s threadbare excuse for a thriller is based a premise that’s served reliably since times immemorial—the one about thieves who fall out over their loot.  Sometimes the result is a masterpiece, like “The Treasure of the Sierra Madre.”  “The Bad Shepherd” falls at the other end of the cinematic spectrum; it’s the polar opposite of a masterpiece.

It begins with a young woman (Courtney Turk) abandoning her stalled car on an unpaved road through the forest, extracting a gun and duffel bag from it, and beginning to walk.  Soon a pickup truck comes barreling along and hits her; she’s dead.  The truck disgorges four scruffy guys, headed for a remote cabin to do some hunting.  Paul (Christos Kalabogias) wants to call the police, but is opposed by John (Scotty Tovar), who inspects the bag and finds it full of cash.  Travis (Brett Zimmerman), the driver, has two DUIs already and would prefer not involving the police, and Leonard (Justin Taite) goes along with him and John, who proposes burying the corpse and divvying up the loot.  When a scruffy cop (Douglas Smith) interrupts them, he winds up dead too, so they arrange the scene to make it appear she killed him and disappeared with the bag. 

So the four men drive to their cabin with a body to bury and money in hand.  All seems okay until another man arrives, an oily guy named Sidney (Santini) in turtle neck sweater and sports coat, who insists they give him the money.  He soon reveals that he knows all about each of them, even their innermost secrets, and says they would do well to do as he asks. They debate what to do while holding him prisoner and fall into argument.

Who is Sidney?  Well, if you think in Biblical terms the title indicates that, as does his unaccountable knowledge, his references to hunting, and his apparent invulnerability.  The four men are apparently his quarry.  As they debate things, they kill another man—identified as Outback (Andrew Pagana), a nervous fellow who wanders toward the cabin, claiming to be living nearby in the woods with his family (and proving it, supposedly, by sporting an old-fashioned Davy Crockett Coonskin cap); John forces Leonard to shoot the poor sap.  It also comes out that Travis has been involved with Paul’s wife Megan (Annie Gonzalez), which of course drives a rift between them.  Meanwhile John is unmasked as the killer of a call girl (Golan Edik) who had tried to rob him after a night’s work years back.

Sidney eggs on their hostility toward one another until they’re at each other’s throats, and the outcome is not happy.

The movie is technically a subfusc affair, filmed drearily by Hugo Bordes (although there are some nice overhead tracking shots, perhaps the work of Kevin Perry, who’s credited with heading the “California Unit,” and made sinister by Ryan Gordon’s gloomy score).  It’s all lazily edited by none other than director Santini, who, had he much self-awareness, would have whittled down his own scenes as Sidney.  His performance is showy in the worst way; it seems that he’s trying to emulate the silken malevolence Alan Arkin brought to “Wait Until Dark” and failing miserably. Of course, it doesn’t help that the lines provided him by Ryan David Jahn are hilariously portentous, at least as he delivers them.  The other actors are amateurish but at least tolerable, though both Smith and Pagana—the latter of whom is also a producer—don’t meet even that low bar.  

A note to filmmakers: it’s not a good idea to put the word “bad” in your title when it’s so perfectly descriptive of your movie.  One always likes to call a debut feature promising, but in this case, that word only means the people involved should promise not to do it again.