All posts by One Guys Opinion

Dr. Frank Swietek is Associate Professor of History at the University of Dallas, where he is regarded as a particularly tough grader. He has been the film critic of the University News since 1988, and has discussed movies on air at KRLD-AM (Dallas) and KOMO-AM (Seattle). He is also the Founding President of the Dallas-Fort Worth Film Critics' Association, a group of print and broadcast journalists covering film in the Metroplex area, and was a charter member of the Society of Texas Film Critics. Dr. Swietek is a member of the Online Film Critics Society (OFCS). He was instrumental in the creation of the Lone Star Awards, which, through the efforts of the Dallas-Fort Worth Regional Film Commission, give recognition annually to the best feature films and television programs produced in Texas.


This new Disney animated feature, based on an original story by Chris Williams and Mark Dindal rather than on the classic tales the studio has usually favored until now, has its ups and downs. The first forty minutes or so, concentrating on selfish ruler Kuzco (David Spade) who’s turned into a talking llama by his ambitious advisor Yzma (Eartha Kitt) and the uneasy friendship he develops with a open-hearted peasant named Pacha (John Goodman), is nicely-mounted but more than a little pallid. The major problem is that the “heroic” protagonists seem underdone by Disney standards. Goodman, for some reason, is reined in so firmly that surprisingly little of his natural exuberance comes across. Meanwhile Spade, one of the most irritating of contemporary performers (bring on the stun gun!) dominates the proceedings overmuch with his customary snide attitude and tiresome catch phrases–and his shtick gets old pretty quickly. That isn’t to say that the writers and animators don’t toss in some good throwaway gags to liven things up during the first half (many of which, to tell the truth, will tickle grownups more than kids–a reference to the old Vincent Price version of “The Fly” being a case in point). It’s merely that they don’t come as fast or furious as they could (and Spade’s always there to intrude); at times it seems a viewer is back to the bad old days of watching “The Road to El Dorado.”

Fortunately, as the picture reaches its halfway point, more and more attention is shifted to the villains–Kitt’s Yzma, who gets progressively funnier as the movie unspools, and (even better) her dim-bulb henchman Kronk (Patrick Warburton). The latter, presented as a absurdly literal but lovable dolt who’s a cooking fool as well as a thoroughly incompetent badguy, steals more and more sequences with his wonderfully inappropriate remarks and nonsensical digressions. And with roughly twenty minutes to go, the picture really takes off in an inventive, elaborate chase sequence that, with its manic, almost surrealistic overtones, really owes more to the old Warner Brothers cartoon tradition (think the Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote) than it does to the softer Disney practices of old. And, of course, it caps off things with a good message about abandoning one’s selfish impulses and learning to care about others.

So “The Emperor’s New Groove” may drag somewhat at first, but it builds nicely to an effervescent climax, and though the two buddies at the center of it all leave something to be desired, the villainous pair go far to make up for them. As is usual with Disney, the animation itself is first-rate (although in a conventional, rather quaint style, far removed from the more modern approaches they’ve adopted in other recent efforts). On the other hand, the excellent songs one expects in a Disney animated flick aren’t to be found here; there are two tunes by Sting and David Hartley, one at the beginning and the other near the close, but neither is remotely memorable. (Their mediocrity makes one glad that the original plan for the picture, which envisioned it as a musical drama called “Kingdom of the Sun” with a full score by Sting, was ultimately scrapped.) In this final version, clocking in at a mere 78 minutes (including a long credit crawl), the movie proves uneven, especially in the first half, but it gains momentum as it goes and ends on a rousing high. Family members of varying ages will enjoy different things in it, but by the end there’s something for everyone to like.


The Oprahfication of society continues apace: first Al Gore and George W. Bush, and now Mel Gibson. In Nancy Meyers’ slickly-made but sadly bathetic new fantasy comedy-drama, the erstwhile macho man portrays a male chauvinist pig who magically overhears women’s thoughts and, in learning to deal with the gift, gets in touch with his feminine side to become a sensitive, caring soul. The touchy-feely result should certainly appeal to the large audiences, predominantly female, who have made Winfrey’s show a national institution. Others may be neither touched nor amused.

As one-joke premises go, this isn’t a bad one, but it’s been rather clumsily elaborated by scripters Josh Goldsmith and Cathy Yuspa and slackly directed by Meyers. “What Women Want” ultimately comes across as an overproduced big-screen variant of the sort of cutesy stuff one might expect in a movie made for the Lifetime Network–which, after all, proudly advertises itself as the channel of choice for those of the female gender.

Gibson plays Nick Marshall, a Chicago ad exec who thinks himself hot stuff, both professionally and sexually. He gets royally ticked off when his nattering boss Alan Alda hires Darcy Maguire (Helen Hunt) as the firm’s new creative director rather than promoting him into the spot, and he plots to sabotage the new gal, aided in his quest by a weird electrical accident that gives him the ability to listen in on the inner workings of women’s minds. The gift changes, him, though; before long he’s not only falling for Darcy, but getting increasingly involved in the life of his estranged adolescent daughter Alex (Ashley Johnson) and truly chummy with other females in his office, including one geekish kid who’s actually suicidal. He also finds himself concerned about wronging a coffee-shop clerk (Marisa Tomei) whom he’s long been asking for dates but now is loath to hurt. To use contemporary terminology, he’s a Martian transformed by the ability to see things from a Venusian perspective; suddenly uninterested in television sports shows or commercials featuring scantily-clad models, he gravitates to true-confession interviews about weight problems and Martha Stewart homemaking episodes instead.

There might have been the germ of a sharp, observant satire in all this, but the makers have chosen to treat the tale in lowest-common-denominator sitcom fashion. The picture is very like every current office-based half-hour on the tube, with an ancillary dash of updated “Father Knows Best” family warmth added to the mix along with the “magical” element. (The depictions of the episodes in which electrical energy first endows Nick with his new power and then removes it, moreover, are distinctly off-putting, lacking any lightness of touch and seeming almost creepy in their literalism. A couple of easy shots at supposed gay mannerisms are a trifle distasteful, too.)

Through it all, though, Gibson proves game for almost anything. On screen virtually every minute, he gives a performance that might most charitably be described as strenuous, running at an almost constant high-octane level and willingly allowing himself to be made to look ridiculous. To his credit, the star throws himself into each and every demand the script makes of him, from glib bonhomie and smarmy self-confidence to manic agitation and looks of soulful, teary-eyed remorse; he even endures an extremely embarrassing scene requiring him to model pantyhose, polish his nails and test what it feels like to remove leg hair. (He’s much more successful in an Astaire-like dance sequence involving a hat and a coatstand.) But for the most part he plays at too high a pitch; the rare occasions when he relaxes a little come as a distinct relief (though when the “It’s A Wonderful Life” fantasy elements intrude, even reticence can’t salvage them). As his inevitable romantic interest, Hunt is appealing but resolutely lightweight. Marisa Tomei has a few good moments as the counter attendant who catches Mel’s eye (including one in the sack with him), but most of the remaining supporting players–Alda, Mark Feuerstein as Mel’s best buddy, Lauren Holly as an office assistant, and Delta Burke and Valerie Perrine as secretaries–are pretty much wasted. Ashley Johnson gets a substantial amount of screen time as the hero’s none-too-happy daughter, but it’s a thankless role.

It’s a sure bet that what a lot of women will want this holiday will be to see Gibson’s conversion to the softer side, some of them more than once. Dates and mates sitting beside them would be well advised to nod approvingly and smile, even if grimly, should the ladies laugh and sniffle at predictable points throughout the picture; not all women will be taken in by the malarkey, of course, but if your companion seems to be, you’d best resist the urge to point out the movie’s tearjerking calculation and rather brazen pandering to its target audience. To do otherwise might cast a pall over end-of-year celebrations, something to be avoided for the sake of seasonal harmony. If, on the other hand, you’re a guy who finds himself chuckling and sniffling at the stuff on display here as well, just consider yourself–like George, Al and Mel–well on the way to Oprahfication too, and learn to live with it.