Producers: Drew Houpt, Lucas Joaquin, Alex Scharfman, Lara Knudsen, Tyler Campellone, Tim Headington and Theresa Steele Page Director: Alex Scharfman Screenplay: Alex Scharfman Cast: Paul Rudd, Jenna Ortega, Will Poulter, Téa Leoni, Richard E. Grant, Anthony Carrigan, Sunita Mani, Jessica Hynes and Stephen Park Distributor: A24
Grade: C
It’s disheartening to see a promising premise squandered. That’s unfortunately what happens in “Death of a Unicorn,” the first writing-directing effort from long-time producer Alex Scharfman. It begins with a father-daughter scene in which widowed dad Elliot Kintner (Paul Rudd) is driving with teen Ridley (Jenna Ortega) to the isolated estate of his employers, the hugely wealthy Leopold family; the lawyer is about to be named functional head of their pharmaceutical empire if he can secure their approval. The estate’s located in a large wildlife preserve the Leopolds have endowed, and along the mountain road a distracted Elliot hits an animal that turns out to be a unicorn. Though Ridley makes some sort of psychic connection with the injured beast, her father bludgeons it to death when it appears to be suffering, stuffs the carcass into the damaged SUV and goes on to his meeting.
One can imagine all sorts of imaginative ways the scenario could go on from there, but the one Scharfman has chosen turns the plot into a heavy-handed satire of greedy Big Pharma—at least in part. Mostly though, it’s just a gory home-invasion movie, though one in which the murderous interlopers are unicorns, stabbing their victims not with knives but their horns or simply ripping them apart with their teeth. These are hardly the sweet critters beloved of adoring little girls.
The Leopolds are caricatures, presumably inspired by the notorious Sackler clan. Domineering patriarch Odell (Richard E. Grant) is suffering from terminal cancer. His wife Belinda (Téa Leoni) spends most of her time on reputation-building philanthropy. Son Shepard (Will Poulter) is a hedonistic doofus, always on the lookout for a profit if it doesn’t require much effort on his part. Their security chief Shaw (Jessica Hynes) is a no-nonsense type, and their butler Griff (Anthony Carrigan) a long-suffering doormat.
Elliot intends to keep the dead beast secret from his hosts, but it comes back to life, only to be killed again by Shaw. Then it appears that Elliot’s allergies and Ridley’s acne have been cured by their interaction with it. Further tests prove the curative power of its sometimes glowing horn, and soon Odell is back on his feet, hale and hearty. Recognizing a goldmine when they see it, the Leopolds call in the company’s chief researchers, Drs. Song (Steve Park) and Bhatia (Sunita Mani) to do a proper analysis; they determine that the horn does have remarkable medicinal power, but it’s a compound that can’t be synthesized. Only the real thing will do; happily, it’s evident the unicorns can regenerate when killed.
Brushing aside the warnings of Ridley, an art history major whose study of medieval tapestries convinces her that unicorns are ferocious, the Leopolds decide to hunt down the unicorn family that’s begun to threaten the estate to retrieve their dead child. The confrontation does not end well for the humans as the unicorns show the ferocity Ridley had predicted. Things get pretty gruesome as the interlopers rampage through the estate, and the mayhem isn’t funny.
Indeed, the humor of the scenario is pretty thin overall. Poulter gets easy laughs as the overprivileged son, but Leoni hasn’t much to work with. Even the usually reliable Grant is reduced to stomping about and desperately shouting unfunny dialogue, while the ordinarily agreeable Rudd has trouble being sympathetic, given Elliot’s efforts to ingratiate himself with the powerful family at any cost; his concern for making life comfortable for his daughter, nicely played by Ortega, in the absence of her mother is intended to show him a good father, but it takes precedence over his actual treatment of her. In fact, he’s such a jerk that one wonders whether what’s become a Hollywood crutch to save audiences from leaving depressed—the old resurrection trope, in this case—is deserved in the case. In any event, Carrigan outshines him with a canny, deadpan turn as a servant called on to undertake every unpleasant task.
Nor does it help matters that the VFX is not terribly good. The CGI unicorns look blurry and unreal, and though Amy Williams’ production design and Andrea Flesch’s costumes are more handsome than one expects in this sort of fare, especially as set off by Larry Fong’s glossy cinematography, the overall effect is less than impressive. Ron Dulin’s editing is variable, with the action sequences often muddy, while the score by Dan Romer and Giosuè Greco tries to pump them up without much effect. The closing shot will leave many stumped.
For an idea boasting so much promise, this horror satire proves neither pointed nor scary enough to merit more than a disappointed shrug..